I’m not afraid of death, what I’m scared of is the fact that I’ll lose everything I have. All the amazing things and people that had appeared in my life. 

saying that I fell in love was one crazy thing I’ve done. Cannot move on is just stupid.

I don’t really know why but it seems like my sleeping disorder is coming back… i have super red eyes and I know I’m exhausted. I JUST CANNOT FALL ASLEEP! What should I do ): take another shot before passing out?

I know Skinny doesn’t equal pretty, but I still want to be skinny. Even tho everyone said I look like a bitch when I’m skinnier, but honestly… I’d rather be a skinny bitch.

first time in bout 2 yrs taking all my ear rings off my ears and it feels pretty weird. I have to say, some times I get the feeling “who am I torturing?” cuz one of my piercings’ killing me like hell, gives me bad sleeping quality at night and stuffs. However, for the hidden meaning behind that bitchy piercing’s giving me, none of that hurt matters, what hurt me the most is the fact that I don’t know why I’m still lying to myself. I feel pathetic, especially when alcohol brings up every thing all the fucking time. I’m heartbroken, and the L word is a curse, I don’t think I will ever, ever, meet someone again. I’m not sure if I can survive the feeling. so hey, watch out, I’m coming bak to the game, soon to be ready. sucks that I have 10 more pounds to lose, and yes, us asian girls, are never satisfied with the numbers we see, always looking for something lower! On the process, last day I’m ever having fast food and I need to go back to regular diet, plus work out.

waking up after 3 hrs of sleep, reading the text msgs from the night before only make me feel like a stupid piece of shit. All I wish is someone to shoot me right now.